Sometimes, there is nothing. And in an effort to define nothing, We become, Nothing. A strong sentiment to those who wished us well, Or a passing moment on a grassridden field as you train for your next track meet, Or the mornings you constantly met your friends at the same lunch table, These became epics you'd pass down to your younger ones. Things you can't come back from, Only to. A memory, a wish, All these romanced pastimes. Lost in ambition, escapes, The hope that you'd look out onto your porch one day and tell us all it was worth it. But what I really needed was a friend What I needed was to see that I take everyone for granted And I can't do that anymore. Life is grand, life is love. A love I may not have for myself, but a love I need to have for others so I can understand it in my own life. I can play a mask well, And I can play the part for my kids, but I can't lie to myself when the music is just right. They'll never see the crash, and all I can hope is that I've prepared them well enough to handle their hearts better than I was ever taught to handle mine. You're not allowed, you're not allowed to have emotional upsets in your 20s. You can't be an adult until you've let it all go, What a fool's choice. What a gold chase we've been sent on. As if the ones we still miss aren't just versions of our lives we quick saved on, "We'll get them back." They were never there. It was always you, the smiles, The love, the laughter, The warmth of the sun in February, It just had to be you. And it couldn't be anyone else, it just had to be. You. There. That morning, That day, that circumstance. You.