Tears upon my pillow as night begins its rise. Thoughts overwhelming; frantic sorrowed cries. My mind takes control as my heart sees defeat. Every memory floods my core; trapped with no retreat. All our love or maybe just mine, inflamed throughout my veins. Flourishing like a rose; beautifully insane. From the sound of your voice to the way your hair would sway. Through every whisper of your breath is how I remember you each day. My mind it forever wanders and your presence is never far. I'm torn between two worlds; both with reminded scars. I love closing my eyes to images and seeing your loving embrace. How I could stay wrapped within your arms as you keep me warm and safe. But my reality takes me hostage and my eyes fill with tears. As you quickly fade back in my mind, again stuck in fear. Will our love ever be? Was this all just a phase? My mind runs ramped and my eyes begin to glaze. I see two worlds; what could be and what is not. I live each day for the love I have always had fought. A war within myself; a heartache all its own. To be so happily in love yet depressingly alone. I feel somewhat abandoned, stranded within the depths. A solitude of somber; my own malicious self inflict.
~Kay Chilowvaeh 02/03/2019