I Used To Be The Sun by Valeria Eden
Reviewed by Realistic Poetry International
The classic American tune plays gleefully in my head just like it was yesterday -
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine You make me happy when skies are gray You'll never know, dear, how much I love you Please don't take my sunshine away…”
The jovial nature of this old time song snapshots the bright spirit of an animated heart full in merriness, abundant in comfort, and glowing with light shining as magnificent as the sun!
Symbolically referring to herself as someone once familiar with a brightness powerful enough to scorch an exterior surface down to the bone, this book openly shares revealing poems that describe the Author's painful and burdensome experience in being what some decided to nickname her; Sunshine.
Firstly, the Author did a fantastic job at selecting a title that seems to tell a story in itself, one that says a million words in only a few to illustrate one drastic transformation: sun to night. How can this be, we ask?
Rather wearing a glamorous crown of happiness, Eden instead drapes herself in a cloak of poetic, pensive wistfulness, versifying sad songs of love as she tells of the slow deterioration and burning of her heart with each poem cleverly revealing the reasons why.
Digging into the vault of time, Eden recalls sharp feelings of abandonment and elaborates on the leftover emotions she deals with after being used, unforgivingly, by others, without ever any reciprocation. Resentment eats away at her as she still tastes the bittersweet reality of love and loss saying;
“Forever, or until one of us loves less.”
Eden’s compelling analogy of the sun is an exceptional tale to unfold that honestly doesn't always receive as much attention as it deserves, as we usually assumingly associate this exceptional celestial body (the sun) with automatic notes of happiness, joy, and light, and also with admirable traits and characteristics we generally find in a ‘hero’ or ‘healer,’ figuratively speaking. Yet this book, interestingly enough, allows us to look from the ‘inside out,’ rather from the outside in to imagine how the sun feels ‘burning herself up to keep everyone else warm,’ in the words of the Author, sharing a peculiar, but at the same time, sensible perspective.
Clearly, this is exactly how Author Eden feels she spent most of her life, giving light and spreading love, freely, while in the meantime, being depleted of the necessary energy to continue shining so vividly, which in essence she describes as draining and overbearing.
But as we read on, lingering resentment transforms into heartfelt repentance when Author Eden begins pouring out her heart’s confessions about her own selfishness.
Scarred by a deep history of internal ‘self hatred,’ Eden admits to living this way for twenty years, in which she, unintentionally, inflicted pain on others in her life as she failed to see, or be, anyone's 'sunshine.’
Painted in pigments of blue, her words are like real teardrops pouring from the windows of her soul, staining the page as a pure and transparent symbol of her authentic emotion. This poem, untitled, expresses, in great detail, her most sincerest apologies.
Taking this step seems to naturally lead Eden into a less dim mood towards the latter part of the book, as she reminds us it is never too late to rebuild and start over in life, especially when we fail or make mistakes. We find her words inspiring, feeling the warmth of hope and opportunity, despite the presence of adversity.
We can also now understand why the nickname “Sunshine” was one given to her, and not earned. After all of the time she spent waltzing in the night and misty shadows, it still seems that it as natural as the rising of the sun for her to emit a radiance hard for any soul to deny.
Her combination of strength and grace exerted into this book is admirable and her testimony of trial and tribulation is a solace to humanity; encouraging herself and others to;
“Love people while they are still here,” and to, “Love. Until it runs out. Until it fades away. Until it finds someone new. And then, love again. Love anyway.”
We are delighted to present this beautiful book of emotion with a 5-star rating and believe it is a book well-worth reading.
This book is available for purchase on