It has not been to long ago, less than a year that I spent the night with Daddy in the hospital.
Same situation different disease.
The elders are disappearing one by one. So quickly. Mama is the last one. But soon she will join them. soon the stories of old will be no more.
It is quiet now. I have taken off the mask we use to enter her room. I had to go to the waiting room for a few minutes. Just for peace. To breathe. To think.
I needed some water and it is hard to drink with a mask on, but the flu is going strong, and she has it.
I need to be with her, but I do not need the flu germs that she carries now. Her cough is bad and I think "Bless her heart," each time she coughs. I know it is painful to have a oxygen mask over your face and cough as she is doing.
So here I sit in the waiting room for a few minutes of peace before the tears come again at the sight of my mama. So weak. So pale. She does not know where she is. She is not aware of anything going on around her. She is unaware of what is causing her suffering and the ills that have befallen her.
She has not even opened her eyes. All the visions she sees are like a movie going through her mind.
What is she thinking? What is she feeling? What causes the restlessness that continually creeps up on her?
I speak to her. Does she hear? I have the hope that maybe somewhere down that dark, gloomy tunnel in which she has fallen that she can hear my voice.
Maybe she can climb her way to the edge and hear. Just smile one more time.
Maybe just open her eyes to say hello and I love you.
So different from a week ago on our last visit. So different. If I had known last week...No. I could not have done anything different. Anything at all.
There is always a what if, but I can never bring myself to ask why? I really do not want to know, nor do I need to know. This is Father's thing. He knows. He has the answers.
Thank you both. Her suffering has ended and her singing has begun.
May her trip home be a journey of great joy, may she be greeted with the love of family and friends who have passed. Thus let the welcome home party begin!
Thank you, Gil. She left the world today so she suffers no more.
God bless her soul, made she rest without pain, and in her mind let the world she know of days laughter with family and friends, dance through her thoughts. My prayers are for you and your family Cynthia
Thank you, Mitch. I came home for a short rest before I have to go back. Mama is a leap year baby so when there is no 29th we celebrate on the 28th only there is no celebration this year. She has no clue half the time that I have been with her. Then again maybe sometimes she does because when I hold her hand she does not want to let go. Going back this evening to stay another night. We have an appointment with palliative care tomorrow. I guess you know what that means.
Thank you, Gil. You sure know how to brighten a lady's day.
Great poem Cynthia, i feel you caught the emotional drain that a lot of people go through watching a once vital and strong person descend into the darkness of death. Also congratulations on your win. One hundres lucky followers to appreciate your work, I feel bad for the other 7.4 billion not yet reading you words!
Thank you so much. I am glad y'all started this site. There are many amazing writers here. I am proud to be included. I am hoping we can all reach out, spread poetry.
You're a wonderful writer, Cynthia, and we're extremely excited to say that you are the 1st poet to reach 100 followers on www.realisticpoetry.com!!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!! You win $100.00 cash!!!
Please email us with your PayPal information so we can transfer your $100.00 prize!!!
Thank you so much for your participation and for being an active member of the Realistic Poetry International community!
We appreciate you!!!