My mind has  been playing point guard in my life lately Controlling the offense and dictating the entire flow of everything involving me It Feels like I'm having an out of body experience Someone else picked up the controller I'm no longer in control,  I'm just a tool Waiting to be use In whatever way my mind sees fit I'm self destructing at a rapid pace I look down to search for the breaks And they have disappeared This crash feels inevitable It's incredible how powerful the mind is I wonder why mine decides to torment me I've been rewinding painful memories on loop for days now I gain back control for a second just to fall back into the trap I'm exhausted all the time so I take naps to avoid reality Flicking through channels of emotions Trying to remain calm , the antidepressants just don't feel strong enough And My prayers just don't feel heard enough ......

Don't bother placing any bids on my heart My hearts not for sale , it's all hers I have no reason to have hope That she will choose to tug at the rope and fight for this to work out I doubt it's delusion , we're meant to be One day I'll put the ring on her finger I have no doubt that this work out All I need is for her to tag into this fight with me We're miserable without one another I agree time apart is the right move right now I just don't think it should be permanent You left a mark on me I can't remove it Let you go ? I can't do it You are presicous, this love is sacred Don't second guess because of fear Quit punishing yourself I'm always going to be here

Your absence Is speaking louder than your words ever did Where have you been? I put up the bat signal ? You are nowhere to be found You promised you wouldn't forget about me and it's obvious that you did Life without you is hell and you can't even let me her voice for a second so I can experience heaven for a change I've had a month straight of bad days I've had a month straight of crying I've had a month straight of chest pains I've had a month straight of wishing this was all a bad dream Please tell me your secret on adjusting to being without me I feel like a piece of me is missing You seem great even though we're barely speaking Can't remember the last time we had a legit conversation I miss the inside jokes , the passionate deep late night talks I may have walked out of your mind But you haven't left mine I'm driving myself crazy over you Trying not to crash out over you I'd die for you and you wouldn't even fight for our relationship What happened to the resilient women I fell in love with ? You say you miss me Where have you been ? You say you love me I haven't felt the love Your actions and words are mismatched