8th of September saw us packed in the 4-star hotel room. Beyond the big Victorian windows, water and earth were dripping from the Sky on the horizon and Sun was struggling to shine through the orgy of grey clouds. Come on already! Maybe we catch that tram! 14, isn’t it? Like a limping ballerina you pulled up your stockings Now your legs became the spider web in which every look in Amsterdam Centraal Will get trapped. A black widow, smelling of sweet and red. From afar, Van Gogh turned his ear to us, listening. Who would’ve seen us must’ve thought we know each other for a lifetime Maybe we would’ve tricked them, I knew you for a day, for a minute, for a second, for a heartbeat in the solar plexus I knew you for a grain of sand. Every time I discovered and rediscovered you like a history that repeats itself Anyways, You told me: I am ready, let’s go! What do you think, ain’t I pretty? Oh, how many poems I could’ve recite you then… How many Pythia’s could foretell our future together And how many Trojan wars I could’ve started for your love… But everything I babbled on a monotone voice was: Don’t seek my gratification I was a fool. I know… To my defense I was an honest fool. Beyond the walls of the room, seagulls were singing like Greek sirens. The street, embroidered with train rails was stretching all the way to the horizon, People that would never see us again, would drown us in their indifferent looks, Van Gogh went deaf. From afar, 14 was coming fast like an air bubble in our blood vessels. You got your hand out of my pocket and with a smile you lit your badly rolled cigarette. Around corners our love was spasming epileptically in the thick smoke.

It’s night, October blows a cold wind in my bones Smelling of damp leaves and freshly picked quinces. On a tilted house 3 seagulls rest frozen Pointing north with their sharp beaks I tell you that everything is going to be alright And you believe me. We forget we want To feel safe, in truth, so we accept everything we offer Each other. Behind a cold remark I lay bare my fears: I believe in a relationship where you feel like yourself You make a small pause, you too hide behind an Approving thought. This light from the lamplight floods your big, childish eyes A lit cigarette nests between your left hand’s fingers Even the smoke hides himself in the autumnal palette. Flashing before our eyes, there’s the wish that we Should never have to think of the past Why should we dig up the dead? We’re different now, present defines us, we don’t need more. The flowing river beneath our feet looks like an old snake. A swan floats unconditionally, looking like a mole on its body. We ask each other why is she lonely? This way we show Our fears. In reality we don’t want to end up alone; World weights too heavy on a single shoulder We both know it. It’s October and it’s dark and cold and it smells of sleep everywhere. We both enter inside, not wanting anything anymore. We throw a kiss, a simulacrum of our love And your lips taste like quinces.